自力更生 那年我12岁
I was 12 yea
s old
序言
记忆，把脸转向月光，让记忆引领你，打开并进入回忆，如果你在那里，会找到幸福的真义，那么，一个新生活，即将开始，记忆，我可对往昔微笑，那时候我很美，我记得过去的幸福时光，让记忆再度鲜活！
——音乐剧【猫】的主题歌词
p
eface
Memo
y, tu
you
face to the moo
light, let the memo
y lead you, ope
te
the memo
a
d e
e, you will fi
d the t
y, if you a
e the
g of happi
ess, the
ue mea
i
, memo
y, I ca
, a
ew life, will begi
emembe
the past happy time, let the memo
**ile to the past, I was ve
y beautiful, I
!
穿越痛苦的唯一途径是经历它，吸收它，探索它，确切地理解它是什么以及它意味着什么，我想起了过去我12岁遭受过太多的精神，身体双重创痛。将痛苦拒之门外就是丧失了成长的机会，不是吗？发生在我身上的一切，甚至最可怕的打击，都不是没有用处的，只能是我的成长更快，更健康。每件事情都会以某种方式进入我的人格结构，正如食物必须进入我的体内一样。
y f
esh agai
ough pai
is to expe
The o
ly way th
b it, explo
e it, u
ie
ce it, abso
d exactly what it is a
d what it mea
de
sta
pai
is to lose the oppo
s. To shut the doo
o
ow, is
't it? Eve
tu
ity to g
ed to me, eve
the most te
ythi
g that happe
ew up faste
a
ible blow, was
ot useless, but I g
ythi
g e
d healthie
. Eve
so
ality i
te
s my pe
my body.
1 寄养
some The way, just as food must e
te
om the cold. I ope
ed my eyes a
我被冻醒了，我睁开眼，发现自己睡在集贤巷小学4年级我的课桌上。我倦曲着冰冷的身体，双手紧抱双臂，幻想有个被子能盖一下。
I woke up f
g o
my desk i
d fou
d myself sleepi
la
e p
g
ade 4 of jixia
ched ove
my cold body, clasped my a
ima
y school. I hu
cied a quilt.
西安报话大楼的钟声东方红响后，我数了五下，五点了。我悄悄起床，(是从桌子上起来！)向只有一站路的新城广场走去。
ms, a
d fa
the bell of xi 'a
teleg
一边走，一边想起昨天，我是寄养在姨妈家的，姨妈是这个学校的数学，音乐老师，姨妈第一次把我赶出家门的情景。她一边用扫把打我，一边哭着骂我，说好的叫你做饭，你竟然不做！你是要饿死我两个儿子呀！滚，别回家！
Afte
i
gi
aph buildi
g was
ted five a
d it was five o 'clock. I got up quietly a
g i
the east, I cou
g squa
e which was o
d walked to xi
che
As we walked, I
emembe
ly o
e stop away.
i
my au
ed yeste
day that I was foste
i
this school. My au
t's house. My au
t was a teache
the fi
st time. She beat me with a b
t d
ove me out of the house fo
g to scold me, said good call you cook, you do
ot do! You a
oom, while c
yi
g my two so
s to death! Get out! Do
e sta
vi
到了广场，那里人山人海，锻炼的人多是练武术的，刀枪棍棒无奇不有，看到踢腿，看到翻跟头，竟不知这是世界给我说话，我就要去练这些了！
They both had a c
't go home!
她俩儿子昨天都玩疯了，我说做饭，都说不吃，我也不想吃，便没做。其实，我做的饭还不错，我会擀面，会烧稀饭。可是我没做！是我的错！被姨妈赶出是理所当然。
I told them to cook, they both said they would
't eat. Actually, I ca
azy time yeste
day. Whe
etty well. I ca
oll out
make
ice p
idge. But I did
't! It's my fault! Bei
oodles a
d cook po
of cou
se.
g kicked out by my au
t is a matte
e is a sea of people, exe
cise people a
To the squa
e, the
g ma
tial a
e p
actici
s a
d sticks
ts, k
ives, gu
ise, see kick, see some
sault, u
o su
p
ow this is the wo
ld to me, I will go to p
expectedly do
ot k
Dusk, hu
g
actice these!
黄昏，饥肠辘辘的我等到姨夫从长安县一中回来，手抓住自行车，便厚着脸皮回到姨妈家。姨夫在饭后给我们三个理发，用手动的推子，把头发夹在里面钻心的痛。就像老天要惩罚我一样！
cle come back, the ha
d g
y I wait u
til u
etu
to au
asp bicycle, the
thick the ski
di
e
t's house. U
cle afte
cuts, with a ma
ual, hai
to give us th
ee hai
.
人一生都会犯错，但是，偶尔的犯错要坚决改正，不可以一错再错放纵自己！更不可以犯大的错误，因为小错可以弥补，大错会毁灭一生！
clip i
which the pai
, we should
esolutely co
People will make mistakes all thei
lives. Howeve
al mistakes a
d
ect ou
occasio
selves i
epeat o
ot i
dulge ou
oy life!
什么是小错？记得，小学3年级时，我因为家里从来没有给我买一个玩具，看见同桌有一副扑克牌，就偷拿回家了！同学找到姨妈家，我归还了扑克，得到的是姨妈一顿暴打！
e's mistakes. Not to make big mistakes, because **all mistakes ca
make up, big mistakes will dest
, p
ima
What a
e **all mistakes ？Remembe
eve
bought me a toy because the home, see a deck of playi
y school g
ade 3, I
t home, I
etu
g CARDS with the table, they stole home! The clas**ate fou
d au
t beat viole
tly!
ed poke
, get is au
om the
o
从那以后，我自制玩具，正午，坐在教室用纸画象棋盘，左手和右手对抗，想让谁输谁就输！
F
, sitti
g i
, I made my ow
toys， Noo
d
aw chess boa
the class
oom pape
d
ight ha
d, left ha
d a
！
什么是大错？
d agai
st each othe
Du
i
*****时期，我的爸爸有一个好兄弟，不知在那里搞来一只手枪，我爸爸接过来不知枪里有子弹，枪走火了，竟然把好兄弟打死了！被判20年，不仅毁了他自己，我的妈妈被迫改嫁，妹妹送到澄县农民家里，改姓赵。我被抛弃在陕北志丹剧团。妻离子散，家就这样没了！
What is a big mistake?
evolutio
, my fathe
g the cultu
al
who killed him. Se
te
had a good b
othe
ot o
ly dest
ced to 20 yea
s,
was fo
ced to
oyed his ow
, my mothe
se
t to che
ema
y, siste
me
s home, cha
g cou
ty fa
do
ed i
ge the su
ame zhao. I was aba
shaa
xi zhida
o
the
ated, so
o home!
t
oupe. Sepa
the eve
i
晚上，有一年没见的妈妈回来了，她给我穿了一身小军服，这是我的最爱，当时西安流行的不得了！她拉着我的手到了五一饭店，见了剧团的宁左书记，他看了我的手，说，不是大关节，我妈说，我没有去过麟游，我的户口在那，却在西安长大。就收下我了。
I
did
ot see the mothe
g, o
e yea
y u
ifo
came back, she gave me to wea
a **all milita
was ve
y popula
m, this is my favo
ite, xi 'a
oupe's sec
eta
! She took my ha
d to the May Day hotel, saw the t
g zuo, he looked at my ha
d, said,
y
i
said, I have
ot bee
ot a big joi
t, my mothe
egist
atio
to li
you, my household
ew up i
xi 'a
i
that, but g
Mille
ium is the same is
. Just take me.
千年不变的是轮回，我的父母都是戏子，我的人生注定也是戏子，练功吊嗓子，排戏演戏，装台卸台，吃百家饭穿百家衣演百家人。何时能逃脱这千年的轮回？
atio
, my pa
ei
ca
e acto
s, my life is desti
e
ts a
actice si
gi
ed to be acto
s, p
g, stage u
loadi
g, d
ama acti
ed family meals wea
a hu
g stage, eat a hu
d
d
ed people. Whe
d
ed family clothes play a hu
ium
ei
ca
escape this mille
ca
atio
?
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